This is something that I have been meaning to address and convey to the boys, specially the ones whom the woke culture has made feel inadequate and alienated. And also those who grew up without a father or a male role model.
It’s not your fault, that whenever a grave crime against women happens you feel ashamed in some way. That the intense male bashing lashed out by the media (both mainstream and the social alike) have made you feel less of a man, or you feel guilty that you couldn’t protect a sister. Please don’t beat yourself up for things you have no control over.
It’s not your fault, when a fellow sister starts hating on men. She doesn’t mean it. Understand that she has gone through the same things you have too. Growing up without proper guidance is scary enough and coping with it, is often a life long process.
It’s not your fault, if you ended a relationship first. It doesn’t make you an asshole. You should put yourself first. Only when you are truly happy can you make her happy, not the other way around. Learn where you need to improve and you’ll be a better man for it.
It’s not your fault, that you were born with a penis. It does not make you a wild animal or someone who can’t control his urges. It is a tool for reproduction as well as for pleasure, as it was intended for. You need not be disgusted by your own body part. Almost all women love it, even the feminists.
It’s not your fault, that you are 40% more stronger than women. Physical strength does not make you prone to violence on them. Men throughout history have always fought for and protected what they loved. Be proud of your strength. You are the shoulders that will carry your generation ahead.
It’s not your fault, that you are being labelled as being part of the problem or part of the patriarchy. Know that it is impossible to please everyone. A good deed for one may mean a personal attack for someone else. Just carry on with what you believe in. You are not wrong either.
It’s not your fault, that people assume having a personal opinion or having certain ideas makes you a bigot. You are not. Everyone is allowed to have choices and opinions, and that includes you too.
Lastly, it’s also not your parents’ fault.
They were as scared of growing up as you are feeling now. Adulting is truly hard and some of them dealt with it, some couldn’t. Understand that life is a process for everyone, and we all live day to day.
With love, your elder brother.
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